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A personal essay published by Sixty and Me argues that phrases such as “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “if only” and “but” can shape self-talk and relationships. The author presents the advice as personal experience, not as research-backed proof that avoiding these words guarantees change.
Sixty and Me has published a personal essay urging readers to reconsider six habitual words and phrases—“I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but”—that its author says can discourage action or strain communication. The piece draws on the writer’s experiences with family, coaching and self-talk; it does not present the advice as a scientific finding or a guarantee of personal change.
The author says a coaching exercise prompted her and a colleague to identify limiting beliefs and write affirmations in response. They spoke regularly for seven years, she writes, and both saw progress in their personal and professional lives. That account is presented as personal experience, rather than evidence from a controlled study.
The essay’s central example concerns the author’s adult son, Joel, who has Down syndrome. She reports that during the pandemic he began taking daily walks with his parents and had fewer opportunities to buy fast food or soda. According to the author, he lost 35 pounds over six months and maintained the practices described. She says he would sometimes respond “I’ll try” when they discussed continuing them, and she encouraged him to say “I will” instead. The essay recounts her perspective; it does not establish that changing the phrase caused the reported weight loss or health changes.
The other suggested substitutions focus on precision and tone. The author says “can’t” can obscure whether something is impossible or simply not chosen; “always” and “never” can turn a specific frustration into a sweeping accusation; and “if only” can dwell on an unrealized alternative. She describes “but” as cancelling what came before it, and offers “and” as an alternative in some sentences. These are the writer’s recommendations, not rules that apply to every conversation.
How Everyday Phrasing Shapes Conversations
The essay’s relevance is practical: the words people use with themselves and others can frame a problem as fixed, unavoidable or open to change. Replacing an absolute such as “you never help” with a specific description may make a disagreement less accusatory. Similarly, distinguishing “I can’t” from “I chose not to” can help a speaker describe a decision more accurately.
That does not mean wording alone resolves structural barriers, health concerns or relationship conflicts. The essay’s examples can prompt reflection, but its personal anecdotes do not prove that avoiding these phrases will produce success, improve health or prevent arguments. Readers may find the suggestions useful as communication tools while adapting them to the facts and needs of a given situation.
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The Essay’s Personal Framework
The article begins with a story about a friend whose fiancé, knowing her difficult family history, reportedly removed the word “divorce” from his dictionaries as a gesture of reassurance. The author says the couple remain married more than 40 years later. The story sets up the essay’s broader view that words can carry emotional meaning, but it is an anecdote, not evidence about marriage outcomes.
The author also distinguishes the six phrases in the headline from swear words, which she says she largely removed from her own everyday vocabulary. Her focus is on language she believes can become automatic and limit reflection. The six-item list is therefore best understood as a personal self-help framework, not a formal language guide or professional recommendation.
What the Personal Account Cannot Establish
The source is a personal essay, and it does not cite studies showing that avoiding these words reliably changes behavior, confidence or relationships. The author’s account of her son’s weight loss does not isolate the effect of language from changes in routine, food access or other factors. The essay also does not provide medical details or establish a causal link between the reported practices and his health.
The headline says “6 Words,” but several items are phrases—“I’ll try” and “if only”—and the list includes both “always” and “never.” The article’s guidance is interpretive: in some situations, a phrase may be discouraging or imprecise, while in others it may accurately describe a real limit or recurring pattern.
Applying the Suggestions Carefully
The article asks readers to notice the phrases they use repeatedly and consider whether a more specific or constructive wording would better express what they mean. Its suggested alternatives include replacing “if only” with “Since this is here, I have a new opportunity,” and using “and” rather than “but” when both parts of a statement are true.
No follow-up research or formal evaluation is identified in the source. The immediate next step proposed is personal reflection: readers can test whether a different phrase improves clarity or tone, without treating the essay’s recommendations as a promise of results.
Key Questions
Which words and phrases does the essay recommend avoiding?
The essay discusses “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” Its headline counts six, although some entries are phrases and “always” and “never” are treated together.
Does the article provide scientific evidence for its advice?
No. The piece presents the writer’s personal experiences and recommendations and does not cite research establishing that avoiding these words produces particular outcomes.
What does the author suggest saying instead of “but”?
In examples where both ideas are true, the author suggests trying “and”—for example, expressing affection for a grandchild while also acknowledging that the child can be challenging.
Does the essay say changing words caused the son’s weight loss?
No. The author reports that her son lost 35 pounds over six months after changes to daily routines and food access, and separately describes discussions about his wording. The essay does not establish that one caused the other.
Source: sixtyandme.com
