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In a Seniors Guide advice column published Oct. 12, 2026, Eric Thomas answered a retired reader who felt overwhelmed by friends requesting rides to medical appointments, grocery trips and handyman help. Thomas said boundaries can protect relationships from growing resentment, while suggesting the reader clarify what help he can offer and consider other support options with his friends.
Seniors Guide published an advice column on Oct. 12, 2026, in which writer Eric Thomas responded to a retired man who said friends repeatedly ask him for rides to medical appointments, grocery shopping and help with household repairs, then try to debate his refusals. Thomas advised the reader to keep setting limits, saying that clear boundaries may help prevent resentment and keep friendships healthy.
The reader, writing under the name “Team Player,” said he was tired of friends assuming he would take them to appointments and outpatient surgeries, drive them to stores, or act as a handyman. He said he had begun telling them he could not help, but that they often tried to persuade him after he declined. He described feeling overwhelmed and unappreciated and wondered whether the friends viewed him as someone to use rather than as a friend.
Thomas said the reader was right to work on setting and holding boundaries. He argued that a refusal does not automatically damage a relationship; in this case, the reader’s growing resentment suggested that his own capacity and needs were not being taken into account. Thomas also said the repeated attempts to debate a “no” were concerning, while noting that the friends might not understand the refusal as final or could be focused on their own needs.
The columnist offered a possible explanation without presenting it as established fact: friends who need help with tasks they once managed may find that change frightening or disempowering, and may feel relief when someone is available. They may also lack other people to ask. Thomas did not say the reader should accept requests that have become burdensome. Instead, he suggested a conversation to make sure everyone understands what help is possible, potentially including doing only some trips and helping friends identify other people who could assist.
Balancing Help With Personal Limits
The advice addresses a common tension in friendships: support can become burdensome when one person is repeatedly expected to provide transport, errands or home maintenance. The column does not establish how often such situations occur, or whether the friends are deliberately taking advantage. It focuses on the reader’s account and Thomas’s response, rather than reporting an independently verified dispute.
For the reader, the practical distinction is between caring about friends and agreeing to every request. A clear limit can make what is available easier to understand and reduce the pressure of repeated negotiations. The approach Thomas describes also leaves room for specific, manageable help instead of an all-or-nothing choice: the reader might agree to some trips, decline others and discuss alternative sources of assistance.
The advice recognizes that people asking for help may have real needs while still affirming that the person being asked has limits. That matters because repeated pressure after a refusal can strain a relationship, regardless of whether the pressure comes from disregard, anxiety or a misunderstanding. Thomas’s response centers on communicating capacity and avoiding a pattern in which help is given unwillingly and resentment accumulates.
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A Reader’s Request for Advice
The source is an advice column, not a report based on interviews with the friends or a broader study of aging and friendship. The reader’s letter describes his perspective; the friends’ reasons for asking, and their understanding of his responses, are not included. Thomas’s comments about their possible fears or lack of support are presented as possibilities rather than confirmed details.
Thomas is identified by Seniors Guide as a national bestselling author, playwright and screenwriter. The publication’s article says he has written the daily humor column “Eric Reads the News” and served as interim Prudie for “Dear Prudence.” The advice column is framed for older adults and their families, with topics that include caregiving, retirement and family relationships. That setting informs the exchange, but the source does not say the reader’s friends have specific health conditions or require ongoing care.
““I’m feeling overwhelmed and unappreciated as a friend.””
— The reader, identified as “Team Player”
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Friends’ Reasons Remain Unknown
The column does not provide accounts from the friends, so it is unclear why they keep pressing after the reader declines. Thomas suggested they may take him for granted, believe his refusal is negotiable, be absorbed by their own needs, or have few alternatives. Those are possible explanations, not findings about their motives.
There is also no detail about how often the requests occur, how much time or effort they involve, whether the reader has explained his limits in specific terms, or whether the friends rely on him for essential transport. The source does not report how the reader responded to Thomas’s advice or whether the friendships changed afterward. It offers no independent evidence that the friends are using him.
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A Conversation About Available Help
Thomas’s suggested next step is for the reader and his friends to clarify what help is realistic before frustration grows. That could mean stating which trips or tasks he can manage, which he cannot, and asking that a refusal not become an invitation to negotiate. The column does not prescribe a particular script or say that the reader must continue providing any assistance.
Where the reader is willing, Thomas suggests helping with some requests and discussing other people who might lend a hand. Whether that is feasible depends on the friends’ circumstances and available support, details the article does not give. The column ends with advice rather than a reported outcome, so it is not known whether the reader or his friends acted on the suggestions.
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Key Questions
What did the reader say his friends were asking him to do?
He said they asked for rides to medical appointments and outpatient surgeries, grocery trips and handyman help. He described feeling overwhelmed by the requests.
What did Eric Thomas advise?
Thomas encouraged the reader to keep setting boundaries and to clarify what assistance he can offer. He suggested that the reader might help with some trips and help friends think of other people they could ask.
Did the column establish that the friends were using the reader?
No. The article reports the reader’s concern but includes no response from the friends or independent evidence about their motives. Thomas offered several possible explanations, including that they may misunderstand the refusal or have few other sources of help.
When was the advice column published?
Seniors Guide published the column on October 12, 2026.
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